


Astronomical Differences

by LegendofMajora



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 21:26:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3090626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LegendofMajora/pseuds/LegendofMajora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The time difference between Russia and Japan is six hours.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Astronomical Differences

**Author's Note:**

  * For [astroenergy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astroenergy/gifts).



He breathes with the first sound of the call being picked up, caught unaware by the sudden surprise when most clients don't call this late so it means by the area code that it isn't from around here. Curious with nothing else to do in the middle of a snowstorm at nine at night, it's the best thing to do besides going to bed early. His brain's too fired up with frayed wires and connections sizzling to turn off his thoughts for a couple hours.

"Yes?" Izaya answers politely with the casual undertone of indifference only to be met with silence. The first second passes and he thinks he hears a baited breath from the other side of the phone. "You know, if you don't say anything I'll think that you've left." Stretching his arms with his cellphone—personal one too—resting in the hollow of his collarbone against his ear he waits and hears something shuffling over a muted receiver.

" _Hello to you too, shitty flea."_ Ah, Shizu-chan. He growls and it isn't at all serious when it travels through thousands of kilometers between them for one phone call. Either it's not important or Shizu-chan's bored once again. _"Even when you're not here you still have a shitty attitude. What are you doing over there, murdering for fun?"_ Here comes the accusations of being a psychopath across thousands of miles—did he just call to say _that?_ No, Izaya purses his lips and chews on his lower one in an old bad habit that he's never gotten rid of in the place of when Shizuo bites his lip for him and usually manages to draw blood.

"Why are you calling me, Shizu-chan? Don't you know how late it is?" If it's late here, then it's three in the morning over where Shizu-chan is and that doesn't make any sense when he has work tomorrow and there isn't any reason why Shizuo would be awake so early. Not even his sense of humor would cut for the early morning calls and going by the hesitant tone of not fully awareness in his voice, Izaya deduces that this isn't intended to be a joke. But for what, then?

" _Yes, I know how late it is. Three in the goddamn morning over here and whatever the fuck o'clock over there. All I know is that it's snowing outside and it's cold."_ Shizuo shifts again and the rustle moves with a scratching roughness through the phone to Izaya's ear, dull and muted and it sounds like the slip of bedsheets rustling. So Shizu-chan is in bed then. And by the sound of it, probably just woke up or something of the sort. Redundant, but then again Shizu-chan isn't an easy monster to predict for whatever reason he enjoys calling at his own expense. There is a silent suspicion that may or may not be between the two or it could simply be Izaya's own imagination from the wine he drank earlier. Not his personal preference on the brand, but it was bitter enough to be tolerable.

"It's only nine, Shizu-chan." he teases for the fun of pushing buttons when it sounds like the monster is grumpy. "You even sound like a beast at three in the morning. So, what are you, too cold to go to sleep so you decide to call and bother me?" Izaya slides over to the window of the main room in the rented house, watching fat snowflakes fall and collect on the ground slowly rising and covered with white. The moonlight reflects perfectly without the false light of streetlights down the road. It isn't cold where he is, mainly due to the heaters installed and the insulated walls of the house.

Shizuo sighs with a grunt of either acknowledgment or telling Izaya to shut up because he's right. _"Whatever. I forgot that you're too prissy to have a normal job in a normal building where it's fucking cold outside. Just...it doesn't matter. Forget about it. I'll leave you to plot someone's murder."_ Now he has Izaya's interested piqued and once he has it there Izaya isn't planning on letting him go. Not when he sounds tired in the sort of way that isn't from sleeping and maybe the winter is hard on them both. From checking on his computer earlier he knows Tokyo is suffering serious snowing and cold temperatures this week. Just like him, but with not as much snow as the snow outside is totaling to currently to thirty centimeters of snow. Which Tokyo has practically nothing compared to the ordeal outside he'll have to be trudging in early tomorrow morning.

"No, you called. So tell me why you're calling if I'm not right then." Izaya catches him, hearing no noise of complaint and absorbed with watching the dark snow clouds above regretfully covering the night sky. From where he is, the sky is normally clear and filled with dazzling lights of stars filling constellations that have become a semi-hobby of his on nights of nothing to do and no one to talk to. Shizu-chan would be asleep at this time anyway, and this is the only time he has off. Although it doesn't mean he wants to talk to Shizu-chan—who would? "Is the beast unable to sleep? What do I look like to you, a bedtime story? I thought those were for children, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo growls and it makes a smile rise from Izaya's twisting lips. _"Oi, fuck you. Nobody asked for your commentary, smartass."_ But when Izaya refuses to keep the bait-and-switch game going, he makes a noise to himself and the rustling is back in Izaya's ear. From outside the informant can see cars sliding down slippery road, trekking through snow and can only imagine what it would be like for the citizens of Ikebukuro to forge their ways through Russian winter. An amusing sight to see, blanketing his mind like the thick snow falling in dry flakes that stick to the heat of his window. Large, intricate, and too delicate to touch. The irony in something beautiful being too fragile to keep. _"And no, I can't sleep either. Happy now?"_

He smirks to himself. Shizu-chan is so easy to play even thousands of miles away. "Thrilled, Shizu-chan. I've been planning to slowly drive you insane by sleep deprivation, and you're already doing it for me. Bravo, Shizu-chan, bravo." One gray sky dark and filtering moonlight through while hazy film covers the streetlights and he wonders if Shizuo sees the same sight from his bedroom window on that tiny bed of his not meant for two people. Despite that, Shizu-chan never listens to reasoning even if it kept him awake at night with cold. The high temperature of his body heat—Izaya knows Shizuo is clearly a furnace—should be enough to keep him warm. Being cold isn't what Shizu-chan does when he's too much of a beast to not be warmed from his own hot-blooded nature. "What's keeping you awake and calling me in desperation, Shizu-chan? The cold doesn't normally bother you." He is curious, to be fair. Curious and wondering what he can pry from a tired Shizuo who doesn't sound like he has trouble sleeping (which he never does) in his own bed.

" _I said forget about it, flea. It doesn't matter."_ Shizuo grunts and shifts again, catching Izaya unaware that he's been listening to the protozoan's breaths that circle in a familiar rhythm that he knows from being close enough to feel the hot exhales on his cheek and the body heat that exudes from a monstrous brute. _"Can you just talk or something? You usually need someone to share your crazy thoughts with, so talk."_ Oddly impatient and almost demanding, Shizu-chan exceeds Izaya's expectations with each call. For now this one is an unusual one and quickly turning down somewhere with Izaya's curiosity leading him along to feed Shizuo's strange requests. Questions on his mind he dismisses them, focusing on the here and now.

"You want to hear me talk? That's quite a difference from the normal demands, Shizu-chan." Izaya chuckles and he hears the resounding growl, laughing more just because he's the one who can get an easy rise out of Shizu-chan. "Besides not caring about my own sleep. But you've got to be more specific, Shizu-chan. While I do enjoy sharing my achievements and my developing thoughts with willing audiences, I have too much to think about to share at once." Pausing, he waits for an answer and the tension travels through the phone at the lazy insults passing through. No reaction yet, so he continues on. "Unless you want me to talk about something menial that your brain can handle, like the fact it's snowing outside and it hasn't stopped for hours. Or that it's currently blisteringly cold outside. Take your pick."

" _How much snow is out there?"_ Ignoring it again. Interesting. What are you up to, Shizu-chan? And why so early in the morning for no reason than to ask about the snow?

"About thirty centimeters, Shizu-chan. You want to complain about cold? Come and sit outside for a couple minutes here. Only then you'd complain that I have an insulated house with working heaters and a heated blanket in my own bed. So there's no point, just stay where you are and whimper over some precipitation." Sometimes Izaya wonders in the silences like these if Shizu-chan is hiding something behind the facade of a beast. No—not possible. Shizu-chan is much to stupid for something like that. "And now you want me to tell you about the sky, covered in clouds, and the fact it's completely dark outside like it is in Tokyo. Except it's not as cloudy there, isn't it."

" _Something like that, flea."_ Somewhat of a response; boring. Izaya figures that Shizu-chan is using him for his own personal entertainment, deciding to play along with the silly game because he's bored enough to question why Shizu-chan actually cares it's snowing outside when he can check on a computer. Even then, it's completely unnecessary.

"Assuming you can look out your window, look for the stars in a group called the Winter Circle. The brightest star is Aldebaran, the brightest in winter this time of year. Aldebaran is the right eye of the constellation Taurus, named in Arabic as 'The Follower' and depicted as a hunter, following the flock of bird known as the Pleiades which is another small cluster of stars in Taurus." Izaya can't see outside and barely past the storm clouds yet the rustle of sheets rising once again in volume means Shizu-chan is actually attempting to understand what he's saying. "Aldebaran was once hailed as a star that brought rain, assuring older civilizations of early agriculture that drought would not happen."

Silence passes between them after the short explanation. Comfortable with talking to himself and if Shizu-chan's willing to listen, he moves on. "Two more constellations, Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, are shaped like pots with handles. The top one is the smaller Ursa Minor, son of the Ursa Major. In Greek mythology, Ursa Major was a maiden named Callisto, a beautiful one that caught the attention of the Greek god Zeus. Because he was charmed by her beauty he cheated on his jealous wife Hera with Callisto in the woods where she lived. When Hera came to the Earth looking for her unfaithful husband, Zeus turned Callisto into an old brown bear so that Hera would see him walking in the forest alone. However, when Callisto's son Arcas was a hunter like his mother and saw her, he shot her with a bow and arrow.

"Right as she died, Arcas saw the mistake he made when the old brown bear turned back into the form of his mother. Zeus appeased her grieving son by coming from the heavens, turning Callisto back into a bear and placing her body in the sky, giving her the shape of a bear. Arcas joined his mother in the sky, becoming the smaller bear above her so he could always watch over his mother."

Izaya feels irritated when the silence continues and wonders if Shizu-chan has the audacity to fall asleep when he's explaining—but that's the main reason _why_ he's talking in the first place. Tch, Shizu-chan could learn some manners when disturbing his free time. But for some reason the sound of Shizu-chan's breaths returning to his ear in the quiet hum of the background noise prompts Izaya to keep going, waiting for some sort of development in why Shizu-chan is so quiet when it's directly contradicting his own boisterous nature.

"The reason why people give names to objects in space is interesting, Shizu-chan. There are many different reasons for why humans do what they do, and naming every constellation took work and the right mythology with them. All of it came from the history of the planet we live on, Shizu-chan." Izaya listens to the quiet of watching snow fall and wonders if Shizu-chan's coming up with more insults for him, ranging from 'insane' to 'delusional' or whatever falls in between. Or if Shizu-chan even cares about what he's saying and the actual history lesson that may be frying his protozoic brain. "Greek mythology is a constant in the skies because we all came from a common ancestor. Then divided into civilizations culturally rich and giving the structure that we have in modern societies with the genius of our ancestors. Because religion was a large part of these cultures we still have religious bias in everything historical, blatant or not.

"So our cultures intertwine with the ones that society has advanced from in centuries from our first beginnings. Humans used religion to comfort themselves with the prospect of life after death when it's one of the first questions no human can answer. Religion brought together civilizations and from them kingdoms and cities to continue to evolve into countries and nations. Religion still plays an important role in societies all over the Earth because it is one of the controlling factors of humans. Religions and beliefs become our reason why there are stars and they stay in the memories of generations to come because of the fairy tales that amuse the children the adults pass on information to. That's why we have stars with names besides classifying them and their groups with science. Because the mythology is what we tend to remember instead of the science."

" _Then why,"_ Shizu-chan swallows after another pause of letting the information sink in and Izaya continues to count the different patterns of snowflakes on his window. _"Why do we still believe in them if we can't prove them?"_

Oh. Asking that kind of question. "There's no definite answer, Shizu-chan. People are like the snowflakes falling outside your window. Imagine all of them, each and every individual. Some of them gather in clumps to form groups and societies and communities to blanket the ground they fall on because unity keeps them together. Not every snowflake is the same, so what happens to each depends on many different things beyond their control. Wind, rain, motion, anything." Tracing the pattern of a large snowflake falling flat against his window he pictures Shizuo doing the same thing with each snowflake that falls against his window. Outside his window, though, are colorful lights on every house from framing to trees and bushes or even the cheeky ornaments decorating the lawn. Here where Izaya is, only a few lights are in the distance. He has no neighbors close by, nor the need to spend his time decorating with silly little lights.

" _Because we want to believe in them."_ Shizuo reaffirms, sounding more tired but his voice steady despite the heavy weight to it. _"They don't want something they can prove, so they make things convenient in the afterlife so they don't fear death."_ Izaya smirks again, surprised that Shizu-chan is actually getting somewhere into more intelligent debate despite the fact he's not supposed to. Shizu-chan is just full of surprises in the early morning.

"That's heading into debate territory. There are no definite conclusions with any answer, so while some things can be proven, there are certain things humans cannot reach." Not with their mortal hands constantly seeking for themselves in their selfish conquest of life as humans have evolved. Such strange, lovable creatures. It's hard for a god not to love the imperfect creations that control their Earth and name their stars and galaxies. "Anything else you want me to explain for you, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo exhales slowly into the receiver despite the slight notion of turning away so the noise doesn't catch. Izaya can imagine him now, biting his cheek in boredom and running fingers through a head of messy blond hair. Wearing some ugly shirt when Shizuo never sees the point in sleeping in nice pajamas—which is typically a luxury Izaya can afford and Shizuo denies any help. Stubborn and prideful, but so stupid and bullheaded when it's not necessary. Only more peculiarities to the strange almost human that is Shizuo.

" _I don't know."_ Going by the tone of his voice that Izaya can pick up on easily he knows there's more than Shizuo is letting on. Another sigh and this time heavy and audible enough to be characteristic of the brutish blond. _"Because I don't know if you can answer me."_

"Go ahead, ask. It's not like you're wasting my time." Izaya loses his train of thought, staring into a fixed point while the world around him blurs. The hum of the heater buzzing overhead rattles through the walls if he listens closely enough and it doesn't match the heat produced by Shizuo. An interesting comparison to test sometime. But not now, and not for a while either.

" _When..."_ he chokes himself off, coming to an abrupt stop and it brings Izaya away from his daydreaming to notice the snowfall has only gotten heavier in the minutes of staring into space. The snow is Tokyo suffers the same fate going by the forecast for the week. But the informant listens carefully, waiting patiently for what he thinks and what will comes from Shizuo's mouth in an uncertain question that has been strangely cut off. _"When will you be back?"_

Izaya takes his turn to sigh, running a hand through his hair and turning away from the window because the reminder isn't a pleasant thought to taint the imagery of winter, despite hating the cold and hating _this_ even if Shizu-chan doesn't get to know when he can't let that happen. And in turn he gives an answer that's the same thing as asking the same question to himself. "I don't know." Which is the honest truth and ironic in a business of lies and half-truths where truth is far too expensive to be bought. Only since this is Shizuo and the heater in the wall is never the same as heavy arms effectively pinning him down until the stupid monster wakes up and somehow manages to have an erection as if he doesn't care if he suffocates Izaya in his sleep.

" _Well, that's not comforting. What do you mean you don't know, hah?"_ Agitation stirs in his voice and Izaya shakes his head tiredly more to himself than Shizuo when it's not that easy to explain why he's here in the first place. Shizuo already knows the most about why he's here and that's still the bare minimum he can. All to afford not getting him in trouble, when weaknesses will cost him everything if he isn't careful so Shizu-chan doesn't get to know the confidentials and _if_ Izaya gets to return home.

_This house is no home._

Something he doesn't want to admit, like a lot of things. It's hard enough to have conversations on emotions with Shizuo when he isn't a spectator and Shizuo isn't good with emotions either but there are times he wants the straightforward truth so they compromise. If it has worked for them for this long then it's sure to keep working until it's not enough anymore. Although there are more issues than dealing with sincerity of words instead of actions because words are dangerously powerful and Izaya has more issues with saying and doing than he thinks he does and it's one of the strongest weaknesses Shizuo knows and he doesn't stay angry all the time. He forgives even the worst of mistakes and each time he keeps Izaya guessing as to why he would bother when Izaya isn't the person for relationships like this. Feelings are too alien for Izaya to follow and in the times Shizuo tries to help it's more embarrassing instead of being helpful, which it is and then pride gets in the way.

" _So that's it then. You don't know."_ Shizuo confirms and Izaya rolls his eyes at the childish response, readying to defend himself from an onslaught of insults. That is, until Shizuo manages to keep him surprised once again. _"If you ever get the chance to at least get an idea, tell me. Text me, call me, whatever you want. Let me know when you can come back home."_

Izaya laughs; a bitter sound sticking in his throat and mocking himself for the rush of heavy slush in his chest like dirty snow on busy roads filled with shards of ice. "Is that the reason you're not sleeping, Shizu-chan? Because you need a bedmate to keep you company?" While the words twirl on his tongue and he waits for a response he can't help questioning if this is the actual reason and why it sticks and tastes like coppery blood and mud at the back of his throat. Swallowing to clear the lump doesn't bring any comfort of what comes next.

" _I guess so."_ Vague as always and it makes Izaya's fingers tighten on his cellphone, forcing himself to turn back to the window and distract himself from the pang that starts to settle in with the brute causing him to experience the strange sensations that he does when separated by over seven thousand kilometers of snow and water. Out of context it sounds ridiculous and at first it did. Now Izaya doesn't know what to think of the same reason his chest starts to swell and his head buzzes in the mornings from the lack of sleep.

"Can't find another person to share your bed? Kasuka-kun, even?" Izaya teases in the spirit of taking the emotions flooding his brain to focus the attention on Shizuo and chuckles when he hears the appropriate snarl of frustration and irritation at the same horrible jokes Izaya makes that still affect him.

" _No, asshole. It has to be you."_ Well, if Shizuo wants a reward for being able to effectively stop Izaya's comebacks, he has just discovered a way to stop him when he chokes on his saliva. Even if it's nothing new to hear the sound of the words coming from Shizuo is enough to make his train of thought derail and crash while feeding the locked-away emotional responses that are tucked deep within his brain. And Shizuo knows exactly how to make his words slip between Izaya's ribs and cut deep enough to make him bleed but keep him alive. Well done, Shizu-chan.

"Aren't you a romantic. And yet you're still talking to me when it's—what, four in the morning now?" Checking the clock reads only two hours from midnight so he knows he's correct and Shizuo sighs in acknowledgment. "You have work tomorrow, Shizu-chan. I can't be your bed pillow when you can't sleep." Something tells him that Shizuo will only sigh like a rejected puppy and complain somehow be it covertly or openly getting irritated. Not that it doesn't already irritate Izaya that he somehow doesn't like _not_ being in the same bed as Shizuo which is just as confusing to him as it is to what Shizuo sees in him to fall in love and stay in it.

And then force Izaya to do the same. _"I know, Okaa-chan. I don't want you to be a pillow. It'd be better if you were here, even if I didn't have pillows."_

Izaya makes a face in the place of covering the choke that may or may not have come from his throat, blaming it on mental exhaustion and inhaling saliva. "That would be uncomfortable. How would I even sleep on that cramped bed of yours? Not that I would."

Shizuo snorts and sounds more alive than he has for the past week. _"Liar. You sleep on me all the time."_ Izaya rolls his eyes again and smirks to himself, neither confirming nor denying the statement just to keep Shizuo amused as well as entertain himself. If he goes to bed now he knows he'll spend hours tossing and turning because the bed is too hard and the pillows are too soft and they're just not—ugh.

But it's time to let him go for now. He has to get to work and Izaya would rather spare himself the ranting becoming more than just an earful from a tired and angry Shizuo. Which, he would like to remind, is never his fault and makes this inherently clear. Until Shizuo yells some more and then throws his phone at the wall with a dull thunk, retrieving it carefully and making sure Izaya's still on the line and unaware of how deafening he can be.

"Go to bed, Shizu-chan." Izaya yawns tiredly, watching more snowflakes lazily and noticing that the flurry has lightened up a bit. Moonlight more clearly reflecting on the ground Izaya thinks he can see a couple bright stars peeking out from the dispersing clouds. For some reason his brain reminds him that Shizuo is looking at the same sky.

" _I will, I will. Why don't you?"_ Shizuo grunts and the sheets rustle with the movement. Bed creaking in the background Izaya knows he's back to lying in his bed, holding the phone up to his ear and pretends that the image of Shizuo sleeping next to him doesn't come to mind. Not with heavy arms and hair that tickles the back of his neck because Shizu-chan is a clingy beast when he sleeps.

"It's only two hours before midnight. I'll be fine, Shizu-chan. You have work in two hours." Izaya turns from the window, pulling the curtains over it and resting against the cold glass while fabric of the curtain scrunches beneath him. "You can live another night without a human pillow."

Silence. Some more shifting that sounds like Shizuo actually listening for once and pulling the covers over himself. His breaths remain even and lulling enough to tempt Izaya into bed when there probably is more paperwork to do that may or may not be able to wait until morning. And when Shizu-chan is responsible for keeping him from thinking about anything else then of course he's not going to get anything done with the reminder that Shizu-chan continues to complain with each call and text he gets.

" _Goodnight, Izaya. Merry Christmas."_ Shizuo yawns, customary before he ends the call and Izaya remembers why he's been hanging on for this long waiting for an answer while filling in the silence with rambling and stories to keep himself from thinking too much on it. And in which reminds Izaya that tomorrow is the twenty-fifth of December. Hence the colorful lights and decorations everywhere in the city instead of in the barren rural area.

"What's the real reason you called me, Shizu-chan?" Get some sleep and maybe the truth is what he does and doesn't want to hear. He has to know when it takes this long and this much out of him to have a conversation with Shizuo six hours apart and the snow still falling outside is the same as it is in Tokyo. A coincidence of sharing at least more than the sky while he waits.

Shizuo chokes.

" _I miss you."_

**Author's Note:**

> Congratulations to the second round author bingo winner, astroenergy! And because I barely know you, I do hope you enjoy this and happy holidays to you as well. This is quite short and simple, as was intended.
> 
> I want to be crowned the king of angst. I could do that, lead my subjects with heartache. x) 
> 
> Notice a spelling error? Please let me know.
> 
> Thank you for reading and enjoying.


End file.
